As soon as you get pregnant, or are trying to get pregnant, you suddenly feel the urge to follow any Instagram account with the hashtag pregnant, pregnancy or baby. After scrolling through Instagram its definitely become a trend to take a break or as they like to call it a ‘babymoon’ before your baby arrives these days. I for one am a complete advocate for it, not because I wont turn down a chance to get away, but because its important to enjoy what’s left of being a twosome.
When I booked our trip away, it was actually to celebrate our wedding anniversary and a last minute thing. I didn’t know I would be pregnant but two weeks after I had booked it, I found out! The only teeny tiny problem was that id booked us a holiday to Bali. I didn’t realise just how far it was from the UK. It was only gonna be a short 17hr trip, that’s not including the 5hr car ride just to get to the airport! No biggy right? I love researching for new and interesting places to go and Bali looked like the perfect place, plus it was unbelievably cheap.
I was a little skeptical as to whether I was allowed to fly in the early stages of pregnancy but I got the all clear from the doctor, filled my arms with jabs and packed my bags. When I explained to my husband that we were off to Bali he went to have a look whereabouts it was online. I could hear his raised voice in the distance, “its half way across the bloody world”, um yea, i didn’t realise that! Just like I didn’t realise id booked a trip to Morocco in the middle of Ramadan and sweltering 45 degree heat for a ginger and casper the friendly ghost once. One of my many epic fails. Bali was half way, well more than half way, across the world, but it was certainly going to be an adventure.
I want to give you the full and frank picture of how this trip went. Like many events in my lifetime, ask any of my friends, they tend to take on a comedic or unexpected twist. However, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Why don’t we start with an airport frisk.
I literally hate going through security. I hate that you have to take your shoes off and I hate that you are randomly selected for a pat down. This isn’t because i like to be defiant, this is because god didn’t grace me with pretty feet, well Frodo might appreciate them. I also have a fear that I will have the biggest sweat patches under my arms when they ask me to raise them. That moment when you walk through the metal detector is so nerve wracking. My shoulders tense up and I break out in the sweats (again). I had turned to my husband and said I was sure I would be the chosen one this time. I’m not sure whether it was because I had my hands in my pockets but low and behold, they chose me.
Oh its a lady I thought, how bad could it be? So as I approach, hands in pockets, she sharply asks me to remove them. Great start so far. My husband had already passed through with ease and was in my direct eye line. As we had already had a giggle about being the chosen one, we were smiling and smirking at each other. I’m not sure if the security lady was on her period, had lack of sleep or just thought she was an all round billy big bollocks, but she took an instant dislike to me.
So i’m not sure if it was completely necessary to caress my bosoms quite so thoroughly, but she wasn’t finished there. When she noticed I was awkwardly grimacing at my husband she, was not, a happy bunny. I thought it would just be a light over clothes brush, so I was slightly in shock, when I got the full intrusive treatment. Lucky me. She proceeded to verbally attack me for not taking the frisk seriously, and how she was doing it for my safety, whilst her hands were in my cleavage. I’m not gonna lie, I was so embarrassed by this point as everyone was looking at me. It probably didn’t help that she then decided to start the frisk from scratch but this time she introduced a prop.
Now, i already have a phobia of being sweaty so when I then had to cock my leg up onto a box slash mini step, oh and was made to face the waiting travelers this time, my embarrassment scale and facial redness reached a whole new level. I was flabbergasted but I wasn’t going to play the pregnancy card. I was so angry and it really put a sore taste in my mouth, especially when its a time to be excited. My husband was trying to take my mind off it and reassure me bless him but when you have a bee in your bonnet it hard to shake.
The only saving grace was the Executive Lounge. Five minutes in with a face full and id forgotten all about it.
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