It was such a shock when i found out i was pregnant. I wanted it so badly that when it happened i don’t think it really sank in straight away. I waited a few weeks before i even went to the doctors to officially confirm it. Every little feeling of pain that i had, i thought the worst. Looking back it was just my body stretching but at the time i had already convinced myself that when i had a scan there would be nothing in there.
I was booked in to speak with the doctor and they arranged for me to come back later that day for a scan to determine how far along they thought i was. I had to come back with a full bladder, which is no mean feat. You have to time it just right to make sure you have drank enough water. Unfortunately i drank way too much, way too quick and i was breaking my neck. It didn’t help that my appointment was delayed. I was in absolute agony, moaning, groaning and pacing up and down.
My husband could see that i was really struggling, and probably the breakdown at reception confirmed it! He kept saying that we should just leave if it was affecting me that much but we had already been there for so long i wasn’t giving up that easily. I had a feeling i was going to be called next so i literally parked myself outside my doctors office. As soon as he called my name i shouted at the top of my lungs “ME, ME”!! I pushed past the doctor, got inside and lay on the bed, whilst explaining to him that i was desperate for the toilet. After he poked and prodded for a few minutes he told me i had drank too much and i needed to offload! You what?!
Do you know how hard it is to have a controlled wee when you are bursting at the seams? I’m not entirely sure how i managed to do it but i did. However, it was all worth it when i got to see my tiny little poppy seed. I was roughly 6 weeks they thought but they couldn’t be sure until i had my 12 week scan.
Even though i was half way through the first stage I was still waiting for the morning sickness to come but it never came. I think i was so paranoid something would happen that i actually wanted to get morning sickness. In my mind by having that, it was still real and i was actually pregnant. I really don’t know why i was crazy enough to think that i wanted to get sick? I am the worst person when it comes to being sick as i cry like a baby. I’m so grateful that the gods spared me that joyous experience. However as you will later find out through the rest of my pregnancy i was graced with far worst!
As each week passes you are then faced with what you shouldn’t do and what you shouldn’t eat. You wait all this time and suddenly the fun is taken out of it. I obviously consulted my very close friend ‘Netmums’ for extremely sound and accurate advice when i was feeling confused. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be a wonderful experience but you soon learn very quickly that everyone has an opinion on it.
I went into my first midwife appointment empty handed and came out with enough pamphlets to open up my own baby orientated tourist information center. You are made to feel so guilty if you haven’t taken your folic acid with that disapproving stare they give, but they don’t tell you they are the size of a horse tablet!
Just wave goodbye to that gorgeous oozy Camembert, yep, parma ham, yep, medium steak, yep! Be careful of those poached eggs, oh no wait, can’t have those either, well the runny type anyway. How are you supposed to keep track of all the dos and donts. You can’t order a non decaf tea without the waitress looking at you as if you asked for a rectal examination! “Ummm did you want decaf?” Nope, no I didn’t. I wouldn’t have asked for it otherwise. So your allowed a glass of wine but not a cup of tea?
It was all so confusing on top of trying to keep the big secret from everyone around me. As i found out when i was just a few weeks pregnant it really bothered me that i couldn’t say anything. I was going through so many doctors appointments and blood test and then all of a sudden they stopped, i was fearful people would notice. They would then ask me questions and i would have to lie to their faces. I told my close friends, a couple of work colleagues and my mum obviously but you do become so anxious. Thankfully i didn’t make it obvious with the sickness.
I had this idea that i would gain a million stone and my tits would resemble that of Lolo Ferrari’s as soon as the egg met the sperm. But in all honesty I didn’t know what to expect really as everyone is different. What i did know was that i was excited to embrace whatever was thrown at me.