My, Haven’t You Grown – 16.10.16

Today you have reached the grand old age of nine months. I can’t believe that in three short months i will have a one year old!? Seriously! This cant be right.

You are developing in mind, body and soul and i just love the little man you are growing up to be. There is no better sound than the sound of you belly laughing as i tickle your feet.

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This week marks the last week before i head back to work so i’ve tried to squeeze in as many things as i can but unfortunately you haven’t quite been yourself. You’ve been off your food and a little bit miserable which is so unlike you. As always you’ve been showering us with love but we’ve had the added bonus of being showered with shite too. I just don’t know how so much poop can come from one human being but it does. It always seems to be at the most inappropriate or unorganised times.

Our first encounter was when i completely forgot to pack you any spare clothes. I must have known that by not doing so, it would result in an explosion that leaked out. Sometimes i do wish that if i think i smell something, i just check the nappy regardless, and not go in for a sniff and faceplant/lip smack a lovely seeping wet patch. As i was at my friends house i had to lay you on news paper (due to my changing mat forgetfulness) that she uses for her house rabbit. I then had to dress you in only a nappy and your new coat. You looked like a cross between a pimp and del boy. Not my finest hour but at least we only needed to get from the house to the car. Just call me mother of the year.


Our next encounter happened the following day. I thankfully remembered to pack some spare clothing this time around. As we’ve had such wonderful autumnal weather we decided to take a long walk through the woods to the beach. But about an hour into our lovely walk the mood took a slightly less than happy turn. You started to cry which is quite unusual unless there’s a reason. So again i do the sniff test and discover that you’ve erupted once more. I forgot the changing mat again but thankfully we were just walking past a bench. Me and your dad had to try and keep you resting on this bench whilst we removed all of your clothing. You were so thoughtful that you saturated every item of clothing. Every. Item. You were certainly at one with nature that day as you were loving being starkers.

After we had managed to prise your clothing off and redress you, you then proceeded to cry almost the rest of the way to the beach. You only stopped when you eventually fell asleep. What started as a lovely family walk turned into a nightmare. Although i can see the funny side of it now.


Our third and final encounter this week was actually last night. After having joked that i needed to put a cork up your bum on days out, you managed to go the whole day without soiling yourself. I put you to bed like always but wanted to check that you’d drifted off. As soon as i walked in the room i knew.

How on earth was i going to tackle this? You were asleep, wearing three layers and i had very minimal wet wipes. I couldn’t switch the light on as one it would wake you and two your dad put the most fucking (excuse my French) ridiculous Poundland multicoloured disco bulb in your room. I switched the light on in my room so i at least had something to work with. I placed you on your changing mat, still sleeping, and managed to get all of your clothes unbuttoned before you woke. You were in a sleepy coma so you weren’t thrashing around like you usually are.

Oh god it was horrendous! The smell, the weight of it, you did good this time mate. I somehow cleaned you up with the very last of the wipes, rebuttoned you, place you in the cot and got you back to sleep. This time i won!

Although this latest instalment has been dominated by poop, we did have some fun times too.


I was determined to try and find a pumpkin patch after seeing so many beautiful photos. Obviously with a child of the carrot top variety (sorry son), it needed to be done. However when i ventured to Trevaskis Farm all excited to see the ‘fields full’ that they advertised, it didnt look like how id imagined. We were literally met with nothing, to say i was a little disappointed was an understatement. I managed to find a handful dotted around so i made the best with what i had. The things i do to you kid! Im sure you’ll thank me for it when your a big strong strapping man. Whats the point in being a parent if you can’t embarrass your child? Your nanny looked on in disbelief as i gathered up the pumpkins.

The saving grace of the 40 minute trip had to be the adorable little piglets they had. Your little legs were flapping with excitement as soon as you spotted all the pot bellies. If i could have stolen one and made it our pet i would have. Me and your dad always dream of having a bit of land so we can have a few farm animals one day. But for now Alan will do. I’m sure she’ll grow to love you once you get out of the habit of grabbing clumps of her fur.


This week we also celebrated your mate isla’s (possible future girlfriend) first birthday. You, Isla and Hetti are the best of friends, just like me and their mummies. We’ve known each other since school so its lovely to see you and the girls growing up together. I’m sure you arent always going to play as nice as you do now, but its gonna be great fun watching you all develop your own personalities around one another. I think the girls do get the better of you sometimes but you don’t seem to mind when they are fighting to get the first kiss in. It probably doesn’t help that you aren’t crawling yet so you’ve become a sitting target. At least we’ve now mastered sitting up on your own.


It was absolutely pissing it down yesterday, so our planned trip to the beach was enjoyed in the warm car whilst your dad tried to look for some good waves. Needless to say. We didn’t. But we did find the most beautiful beach in the process. I cant wait to take you there again when the weather is better.

It looks like the sun is shining today. Which ordinarily is perfect exploring weather, but your dad is currently nursing a hangover, so a day in it shall be. Although the silver lining is he’s currently making cupcakes and risotto. Lets stuff our faces and watch a movie kidda because that’s what Sundays are for.

Until next time.

Mumma X




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