No Longer A Baby Anymore

When they are first born, babies require all the love and attention. They are helpless beings who exist through constant feeding, changing and cuddles and most importantly love. They begin their lives not knowing how, or having to do anything for themselves. You just feed them and nurture them as best you can.

You just don’t realise how true it is that they grow up fast. You are having too much fun to notice that this once floppy little snorting pig is now a very independent being.

All babies start to develop the basics and i charted this against the monthly updates on my What To Expect or Bounty app i’d installed. Please say i’m not the only one obsessed with this? If you’re anything like me, you will naturally start getting that development anxiety. You just cant help it.

No matter how many times you try to convince yourself you aren’t bothered that the really smug mother’s unusually ( the other word for ugly) looking child had already rolled, crawled, walked and practically swum the f-ing channel whilst your baby is happy blowing raspberries and farting more than you could have imagined, but you are. Is my child’s development normal because they haven’t done all these things?

The answer is yes. I know now that babies do things in their own time. Whilst they are busy figuring things out they are also forming their own little characters. They start to do things for themselves. It just seems to happen so suddenly. It’s almost a shame really that you spend so much time with them in the early stages when generally a large portion of that is spent sleeping and then when they do gain all their funny little quirks and traits it’s time to abandon them and head back to the daily grind.

Ernest has overnight just become a little boy. He’s lost that baby face and when i look at him now his face is so defined. When did he suddenly grow up? It’s taken him almost nine months, but the lazy sod now sits up on his own. He knows his own mind and trying to put him in any sitting apparatus requires me to either bribe him or manually bend him until his extremely strong body decides to loosen. I was told this would happen and i find it hilarious every time. I’m sure that won’t last.

This fiery headed kid’s got a right temper on him. Its the same recurring thing every day when i use the car. I put him into his car seat with the car keys in my mouth and hes desperately trying with all his might to get to the keys. Mouth wide open, arms stretched out and the deepest grunt. I know its going to happen but every time without fail i still put the bloody keys in my mouth and we still have an almighty meltdown when i have to use a crowbar to prise them from his monkey fist grip.

They say between the age of seven and twelve months babies start to understand that you and them are not one in the same. They realise they are separate. Sad times. Sob sob. Most will suffer with anxiety when you leave the room. Not Ernest. He couldn’t care less most of the time and he’s happy doing his own thing. Even when i drop him off before work it wouldn’t matter whether i handed him over to his nanny or a total stranger. So when did my baby start making his own choices?

I’ve now become surplus to requirement. One day i was needed, the next i practically get facepalmed. I now spend my life chasing him around the floor whilst he shuffles away from me in disgust because i’m trying to put clothes on him. How dare i! I’m seriously contemplating pull ups just because they are so much easier but the bargain hunter in me can’t bring myself to pay the same price for twenty less nappies. Its just not in my make up.

He wants to do everything for himself. Eating. Drinking. Playing. I can see the little cogs in his mind working overtime whilst he figures out how to be as mischievous as he can be. I just love to see that he gives so much expression in everything he does and i burst with pride. He doesn’t like to sit hes decided, he only wants to stand. The kid took months to sit up on his own, now he’s like fuck it, ill try a bit of that standing lark instead! He gets so excited whilst he’s looking around and taking everything in and bounces up and down like Tigger.

It pains me to say it but i’m getting to the point where i can’t imagine him when he was a baby now. I’ve almost completely forgotten those days. Its quite sad really that although its amazing to watch them learn and grow they no longer require that nurturing you so readily offered. There is no better feeling than the one you get from comforting your baby when they are in pain or over tired. I’m that desperate to hold on to the new born days that i enjoy him waking me up in the night. It gives me an excuse to put him in my bed and cuddle him nice and tight.

Ernest, although he doesn’t realise it, says mum, mum, mum when he’s just chatting to himself or when he’s crying and i honestly don’t think my smile could get any wider. I’m not sure how ill cope when he says i love you for the first time. I can barely hold back the tears as it is.

I have to just accept that my baby is no longer a baby anymore. He’s going to want to do more for himself and there’s really nothing i can do about it, but watch on in amazement. Although he may not need me now, he will, and when he does I’ll be there with open arms.

Are you struggling to come to terms with your baby no longer being a baby? Or do you remember the feeling? I’d love to hear about it.




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