I get told often that I’m different since I became a mother. Sometimes I never really know how to take this. Was i that much of an angry unapproachable bitch before? I guess you never really think about yourself in such a way unless, yes you are feeling like an angry hormonal bitch.
At the time I would have completely disagreed but when I look back at the old me, I do see someone who had very little patience, let things really get to her and took out any form of frustration on the ones I loved.
No one wants to think of themselves in a bad light or believe that you could come across as a total cow. I love that I’m a happier person now. I love how being a mother has opened my eyes and my heart ( as cheesy as it sounds). I never really took the time to appreciate what I had. We definitely take for granted the things that are most important to us.
I often think that at the age of 32 I haven’t achieved a great deal in my life. I don’t have the blistering career, abundance of money or size 8 figure I’d longed for growing up. I’m not particularly cool or influential either. But I’m rich in another sense. I’m rich with the love of my husband, my baby and my annoying cat.
I look at life with a different pair of eyes. Choosing to become a mother for me, is learning to be a better person. To not be that judgemental person i once was. I was definitely one of ‘those’ people who said they wouldn’t do this and wouldn’t do that, before I’d even considered having a baby. I clearly knew exactly what i was talking about! Now I am doing everything I said I wouldn’t.
It hasn’t made me any less of a person, if anything it’s made me human. I know I’m not alone in saying that more often than not my kid decides he’d rather not eat the dinner i’d lovingly cooked just that milky way mousse I had at the back of the fridge and the stale left over toast he picked up whilst bombing around the kitchen floor.
I know my baby is happy and healthy regardless of whether he eats a carrot or a biscuit. I’ve learnt so much about myself in these short few months and it’s really helped me to be more mindful I guess.
Life can be pretty rough. We all have days where we sometimes feel like we don’t want to adult. I’m often left holding the baby for weeks at a time being an off shore wife. I feel like banging my head against a wall regularly, especially if I have a teething grumpy baby who doesn’t want to sleep. Then I have to be ‘present’ with a manic one year old the next day when all I want to do is crawl under a duvet preferably with my cat curled around my head, a diet coke and Cadbury’s Twirl.
As silly as it might seem I try to do things now that help with those everyday stresses so I thought I would share the love. I’m not about to preach and I by no means know what I’m talking about, but if I do at least one of these a day it helps me to keep a happier existence. Nothing is ever perfect in this crazy world but its the things we do and the choices we make that can make it better. Christ who the fuck do I sound like!? Just call me Dr McCringe.
1. Fresh Air
As simple as it might sound, just going out and taking in your surroundings can work wonders. I know I’m totally biased as I live in one of the most beautiful places, so we aren’t short of breathtaking scenery but you will find beauty everywhere, whether that’s capturing a stolen moment, seeing a pretty bloom or grabbing that gooey steak slice from the local bakery. Personally I love nothing more than the feel of the wind lashing over my face as i’m pushing that giant lump, I call my child, up the mountainous hills.
2. Take 5
I know its not easy to always make time for yourself, but it really can work wonders. I took the decision to put Ernest into nursery so I could do things sans child. Its only a few hours but it makes a whole lot of difference knowing that I have a small window of time to get odd jobs done, go to a non baby friendly café or have a wash without having toys throw at me in the process. If you have a partner then make full use of them, even if its for 10 minutes.
3. Look On The Funny Side
We all tend to be hard on ourselves. So I try to see the funny side of those really challenging moments. Whether that’s Ernest kicking me in the fanny and pushing on my chest when he’s fighting sleep, or when he spits Ribena all over the carpet, or when he rolls over as you attempt to clean his shitty ass and his legs and your hands are then covered in his excrement. I have tried everything but somethings simply cant be helped. So if you cant beat them…and all that!
This particular one is one I totally live by. Music to me has magical powers as it can make you happy, sad, excited and so many other emotions all at the same time. Whether I listen to something on YouTube in the morning with Ernie, in the car or dance around the kitchen to it, it always lifts my mood. I definitely feel everything you are meant to feel. I used to listen to music full blast in my ears every night, dreaming I was on stage (cringe) before Ernest came along but obviously this isn’t possible now so every opportunity is taken. This by far is my go to de stresser.
I always think that its important to have something to look forward to, especially for me as I spend weeks and weeks apart from Timmy and if I don’t look forward to the time he’s home, then it will just drag or I like to plan for the days me and Ernest have together. Before we had a baby, my preplanning would involves holidays and all those horrible things and hopefully in the future that will resume but I guess at the moment I’m taking ‘baby’ steps. Currently our plans are to go to a paint and play with Ernest and a mummy/daddy meal out but to me those are just perfect.
So there you have it, my very doable list. I know they say that getting more sleep and exercising is the way forward but they are totally overrated no!? We all do things to survive and you might have your own list, and this is mine. I never in a million years thought I would turn into that person, but I have. I have become an atypical all encompassing baby loving mumma, who takes far too many pictures, and pretty much looks like dog shit daily due to the remaining baby weight (and some) and lack of care for her appearance. Maybe one day my list might grow and include this but for now I’m ok with all that…..until tomorrow when I can’t find anything to wear and I have no time to wash that is.
Do you live by a list? Or have anything to add?